Maybe Do Something Nice Tonight

By Kelly Conaboy July 31, 2017

What are you doing tonight to celebrate the final days of summer? After work? It’s easy to just be in bed and think about digging your grave and worry about things and then also think about how you have to pay rent already even though it seems like you just paid it, but maybe you should do something else, too. I don’t know what. Fall in love? That would be very nice for you, if you could fall in love tonight. Have a slice of pizza outside? I have to admit I didn’t know where this was going when I started and I haven’t yet figured it out and I don’t have any suggestions for what you should do tonight partly because I don’t know you and I don’t know what you like, but I do think you should listen to this song, first of all:

When you google “what to do on a summer night” this is the snippet:

Obviously these options range from bad (“catch fireflies”) to insane (“set up a lemonade stand in your neighborhood”), but maybe you’d like to make potpourri from seasonal flowers tonight. Hm? Fireflies are disgusting, if you ask me. I like how they light up but otherwise they’re just scary gross bugs. Let me see what else online says. This Ryan O’Connell Thought Catalog piece suggests seeing The Dark Knight Rises “because it is seriously the only movie event of the summer that matters!” So. Maybe you can do that. Also it says this:

14. Tell your crush that you like them because they’re more likely to like you back in the summer than in the fall. There’s like scientific proof.

Maybe you are Curtis Granderson and your crush is me? If so you can email me. And this is very wise:

16. Go home to visit your parents for Labor Day. Or not. If you hate your parents, save your money and don’t do it.

Not sure if that helps for tonight, but. What else. This list on EXPERT HOME TIPS says build a pool from bales of hay and then another option is “Create your own Facebook page” which is placed under the subhead “A little bit random but oh so fun..”

There’s this eHow page “Things to Do on a Boring Summer Night.” It’s just like…look at stuff with binoculars, have a picnic, take a walk in the park, read “a good book indoors.” Also it says to make s’mores, and then it says, “Line two graham crackers with pieces of a flat chocolate candy bar and then wedge your toasted marshmallow inside. Eat the treat like a sandwich.” Imagine you didn’t know what a s’more was ‘til you read that.

You can also get oysters? I love to get oysters. Maybe you can get them somewhere for a dollar.

I’m going to look one more time to see if I can find something good online. This website is called KC Edventures which I like because my initials are KC (Kelly Conaboy). It’s mostly the same shit as the rest of them but this one does suggest going to a drive-in which I would like to do if I lived somewhere near a drive-in. Oh also it says “Enjoy late admission at a Local Attraction” which reminds me: did you know the Empire State Building stays open until 2 a.m.? I was up there then once and it was all drunk people. (I was not drunk.) That could be fun. It was cold when I went!

Hmm, what else. I don’t know.