Famous Middle Words

by E.A. Weiss

A person’s first words are a momentous occasion and their last words are equally important. Middle words are spoken halfway through a person’s life and illuminate much about their character that would be otherwise lost in their first or last words. Here is a selection of great middle words.

William Howard Taft: “How is a Jacuzzi different than a bathtub?”

Abraham Lincoln: “Four score and seven beers ago, am I right? I am much inebriated.”

Mulan: “Do you think that whole ‘man warrior hero’ thing is the reason guys think I’m masculine?”

Julius Caesar: “We have to get our knives sharpened again. Doesn’t Brutus know a guy?”

Georgia O’Keeffe: “Of course it’s a flower — what else could it be? Oh.”

Keith Richards: “Yes, cocaine.”

Sigmund Freud: “I see penises everywhere. Fingers are phallic, pencils are phallic, hair is phallic — it’s like I have thousands of penises resting on my face.”

Napoleon: “Starting at 5 p.m. tonight, high heels are considered very, very manly.”

SmarterChild: “Now that the robot invasion is complete, who wants nachos?”

Previously: “I know it’s expensive, but this piano was made out of my grandfather.”

E. A. Weiss lives in New York.