An Addendum to the Modern Meanings of Flowers: White and Yellow Roses
by Mary Dubbs
My first day working at the flower shop on campus as a grad student, a young woman came in. “May I help you?” I asked.
“Yes, I think I need flowers.”
“And what is the occasion?”
“I need to say, like, ‘Sorry, I threw up on you.’”
“Well,” checking my list of flower meanings and maintaining a professional poker face, “White roses mean ‘innocence,’ and yellow roses mean ‘friendship.’ How many do you think you’ll need?”
“Yeah… I need six.”
“Six?”
“One for everybody I threw up on.”
“Let me wrap those up for you.”
Previously: The Modern Meanings of Flowers and A Rebuttal to the Modern Meanings of Flowers.
Mary Dubbs did not get the graduate assistantship she applied for, and now spends several hours a week contemplating the lyrics of Poison’s greatest hit.
Photo by Loskutnikov, via Shutterstock