How Do You Know When It’s Time to Move?

by Rebekah Hunt

1. While you’re checking out the one hot guy at the end of the bar you realize you’ve already slept with him. In 2000.

2. And 2001.

3. You may have also made out with the guy who’s serving him.

4. And the guy who owns the bar.

5. And your ex-boyfriend cheated on you with the hot guy’s current girlfriend.

6. And the girl sitting next to her is (publicly) dating the married guy you (privately) dated for two years.

7. And on the way home you run into that other guy, who owns that other bar, who told you to call him even though he lives with his girlfriend. And her parakeet.

8. And you made out with him in 2009.

9. And your ex-boyfriend also cheated on you with that guy’s current girlfriend.

10. And every person mentioned in 1–9 has one mutual friend on Facebook: the girl who cuts everyone’s hair.

11. And this is a pretty average night, after all, it’s only Tuesday.

Rebekah Hunt is a freelance writer in Madison, Wisconsin.