“I Can’t Believe How Disgusting You Were”

Daniel Handler of Lemony Snicket fame has a new book coming out, and it comes nestled inside a website:

Why We Broke Up is my new novel, in the form of a long letter from a girl named Min Green to a boy named Ed Slaterton. The letter comes with a box, and inside the box are all of the souvenirs from their love. Each of the items is the subject of a painting by Maira Kalman.

In order to write and illustrate this tale of heartbreak, Maira and I dug deep into our own romantic histories, remembering all of the times we’ve been dumped, particularly by [name redacted] and, in Maira’s case, [name redacted]. It was almost like getting our hearts broken all over again, several times, and it doesn’t seem fair that we would have to do this and you wouldn’t.

This website allows you to share your stories of heartbreak with us, just as we shared ours with you. Our hope is that the Why We Broke Up project will enable all of our heartbreak to reach critical mass, so that, unlike [name redacted], it will never bother us again.

He and Maira want your stories, and they’re luring you with one-line celebrity breakup tales (Neil Gaiman: “I listened to Lou Reed’s Berlin over and over and walked around a lot in the rain”) and one-line anonymous breakup tales (“I had ugly shoes. But in my defense, I was in seventh grade and my mom was cheap”), to which Daniel will occasionally respond (“Your mother is to blame not only for this but for all of your subsequent failures. Why not call her now and tell her so?”). The novel comes out December 27, but you can post your misery now or just follow along with the fun on Tumblr.

Plus: An excerpt.