How To Keep Your Skirt Down

Wind: it comes from the sky. Wind: it comes from the ground when there’s a train. Wind: it comes from—oh my god, what was that? a ghost. But what if you want to wear a skirt during it and not have your skirt blow up over your head even though it seems like every other woman can wear a skirt and it’s fine, they’re not having any problems?

Here’s how:

1. Pick Out Your Skirt

Choose from any of the skirts you own. The short triangle one, the long tube-y one, the one next to it that’s like a nose, the one that’s so small it’s like it doesn’t really even look like a skirt at all. Any of your skirts will work just fine for this exercise.

2. Put Your Skirt On

Simply glide the skirt over your feet and keep gliding it up, up, up—oop, not around your neck so you can strangle yourself and die, hah!, no, glide it down, down, down until it’s around your waist. Now you can see your legs out the bottom.

3. Staple Your Skirt To Your Skin

Ah, that’s much better.