How to Talk to People When You Don’t Love Them or Care About Their Jobs

Advice for a reader.

A reader sent in a question, again, seeking advice. I do not have an advice column.

Hi Kelly,

Are you there? Quick question: How do I talk to people when I don’t love them or care about their jobs. I’ll explain, I feel like there are three types of people I can interact with: People who I love, who have jobs I care about; people who I love, who have jobs I don’t care about; people who I do not love and do not have jobs i care about. For example, you, my dear friend Kelly, are in group one. I love you and you have a job I am interested in — blog/journalism/candle reviewing/etc., aka the only job I care about — so it’s easy to talk to you. Other people I love, I am willing to hear about their boring jobs because they like talking about them and I want them to have that joy. If I don’t love a person, I truly have no interest in hearing about being a paralegal because what even is a paralegal? Does anyone know? I know I don’t because I’ve never listened to a person I don’t love explain it and no one I love would ever be a paralegal (I think — depends on what a paralegal is/does). That said I would like to meet new people, because what if I could end up loving them. Like I said, a quick question.

Thanks,

Jesse

Jesse —

You don’t not love anyone who has a job you care about? I feel like that is a category you missed. Unless you love all bloggers, which would be a mistake; all bloggers are bad, even the ones I am friends with, including and sometimes especially you, like when you send me these emails or when you tweet.

It’s key to understand all jobs are better and more important than ours. What we do matters so little and is frankly so embarrassing that sometimes it keeps certain people awake at night, not naming any names. For example, I’m writing this as part of my “job.”

My advice would be to talk to them and remember anything they have to say about their job is more interesting than what you have to say about yours. Otherwise you can talk about whether it’s a good day or a bad day outside and if they like dogs or cats.

— Kelly