Find The Best Frown For Your Face Shape

For the most flattering, dejected look.

Chances are you have recently found the occasion to frown. You don’t have to tell us what’s making you frown; it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are frowning the frown that is most fit for your face. If you’re going to frown, at least get your face looking tolerable, with regards to structure, more specifically shape.

• If you’ve got a rectangle face, turn the part of your mouth that’s on the left side and the part of your mouth that’s over on the right side down so that they are lower than the part of your mouth that’s there in the middle.
• If you’ve got a square face, do the same as above. Mathematically, your frown will take up more of your face. I think?
• If your face is a diamond shape, frown the way ScarJo, a diamond-shape face-haver of note, would frown.
• If your round face is sad, frown exactly like this ☹
• If you’ve got a teardrop face, you don’t even need to frown! Your face already looks like a teardrop, (the result of a cry [the product of a frown]).
• If you’ve got a triangle face, try an ombre pulled back bun! And frown like this 🙁
• If you’ve got an inverted triangle face, smile but upside down, and change the slope of your eyebrows, too, so that they are no longer smiling.
• If you have an oblong — short for “obstinate and long” — face, frown because you’re stubborn!
• If you’ve got a racist, misogynist, or xenophobic face, frown because you’re bad! And if your face isn’t actively any of those but it’s standing idly by watching other hateful faces, frown because you’re still bad! Sorry to get all political but it’s bad, I mean true!
• If you’ve got a heart-shaped face, make the frown so that it cuts your heart-(shaped face) in two big, sloppy, ugly, sad, frowny pieces.
• If you’ve got a happy face, enjoy this moment. Stay there as long as possible. Take care of yourself, and of your face.

Jenny Nelson lives and writes in Brooklyn.