Candle Review: Empty 2.4 oz Diptyque, Tubéreuse
The latest edition of The Hairpin’s popular candle column.
“This has to end soon,” you may have thought recently. “This can’t just be how it is now.” You may have said this aloud. “It has to end. This can’t…What will be left if it continues? This has to end.” Yes, it’s possible we’ve all been thinking and saying that nonstop for what seems like years but in reality has only been days. Well, I may have good news. If, by chance, you were thinking and saying those things about my 2.4 oz Diptyque “Tubéreuse” candle, a candle that I purchased a few months ago and have been using sparingly until last night when I said “fuck it!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and burned it all, well, my sweet friend, oh, my darling, my beautiful friend who I love — you were right.
That candle is gone!
Ah, the Diptyque “Tubéreuse” candle. A classic candle. Not as widely beloved as the “Feu de Bois,” not as bought-as-a-gift as the “Feuille de Lavande,” but certainly still a Diptyque candle, and certainly still a candle that even a non-candle person will immediately recognize as a Diptyque candle when they see it in your apartment. It is my personal favorite Diptyque candle.
And now it’s gone.
Here is its description from the Diptyque website:
Enigmatic and beguiling, this heady flower deploys its captivating sensuality at dusk.
Wow, same as this heady flower — me.
But was this candle quite as enigmatic and beguiling as I am, and was its dusk-time captivating sensuality as pleasurable? Let’s see.
DOES IT HAVE A GOOD SMELL?
This is somewhat surprising and I believe you are going to be shocked. Right now, as I’m smelling the empty glass container that formerly held Diptyque’s incredible tubéreuse-scented wax, I pick up almost no remnant of the tubereuse scent at all.
Wow.
There is a little remaining wax on the bottom and I’ve dug it out with my fingernail and I’m trying to smell it and I have it very close to my face and it smells like nothing.
Damn.
From what I remember, though, this candle smelled good as fuck and, fuck!, ah, I loved it so much, oh my god, I loved burning it until it was gone, it felt so good.
IS IT A WINTER CANDLE?
It was not a winter candle; it was very much a “spring” candle. It smelled like happiness, new love, and light clothing. It didn’t smell like heavy coats, dry skin, or fascism. Some might wonder if the Diptyque “Tubéreuse” candle has a place in our current world at all. I’m not sure. I hope so, but once again I must state for the record that I am not sure.
It gets a non-check.
HOW MUCH DID IT COST?
2.4 oz Diptyque candles cost $32.
IS IT WORTH $32?
Yes. I love a tiny indulgence. $32 is a lot of money for a tiny indulgence, but you have to admit it’s less than $62, which is the cost of a full-size Diptyque candle. That would be a larger indulgence. This, comparatively, is a tiny indulgence. And I love a tiny indulgence.
WHAT IS THE BURN TIME?
Allegedly the burn time is 30 hours. I don’t believe this. If I had to guess a burn time I would say 15 hours, maybe 20. Of course, I hate to accuse a candle I love of lying — there is no “winner” here — but if I don’t have my candle review’s integrity I simply have nothing at all.
My hands are tied. This gets a “LIE?”
DO YOU REGRET YOUR DECISION TO BURN THE CANDLE LAST NIGHT ALL AT ONCE RATHER THAN SPREAD THE REMAINDER OF THE CANDLE OUT OVER TWO OR THREE MORE BURNING SESSIONS?
No.
Next question.
DOES THE CANDLE LOOK NICE?
It looks tiny and beautiful, though right now it also looks a little charred. It’s a difficult time for everyone right now.
IS IT HEAVY?
No, it was very light. Twice I’ve purchased mini Diptyque candles to take with me on trips, and they travel in your suitcase with ease. It’s very nice. One trip was to Berlin, one trip was to Los Angeles. It’s nice to have a nice scent, even when you’re away from home. When I was in Berlin I bought a little lighter with puppies on it to use with the candle and then I left it at my Airbnb. In Los Angeles the Airbnb had a lighter already.
WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT TO A FRIEND?
Yes. The only friends I wouldn’t recommend it to are the friends who already know because I wouldn’t want to offend them. You have to be careful with people’s feelings.
SCORE:
- Five checks
- Three non-checks
- One reckless behavior
- One LIE?
- One flame
Pretty good!