Fifty Shades of Grey, and One of Brown

“He said he had every intention of squirting sauce over Miss McCormick, but he now regrets having done this, realising how stupid it sounds. He didn’t realise that the sauce incident would be classed as an assault. He is sorry for his actions.”
 — SIGTLMKRFSOGOIWCTPIYSMWBS? (For reference.) [via]