I’m Worried We’re Not Going To Get Any More Snow

A fear.

It is going to be seventy degrees today. Yesterday I went outside with no coat and I felt happiness. I have felt happiness several days in a row. This makes me feel: worried.

I’m worried we’re not going to get any more snow.

“That’s a good thing,” you might be thinking. “Snow is cold and makes getting from one place to another more difficult. It can also lead to power outages. And floods.” Floods?! You’re being dramatic. “You’re being flippant.” Well YOUR’E being irritating!!!!!! OK yes, snow is inconvenient, but it is also these things:

• Nice
• Pretty
• Fun

Ehhh??

• And you can have hot chocolate during it

Something I will admit is the timing of this piece is perhaps incorrect. It is a nice day outside. I’m listening to birds chirp as we speak. (I speak.) (I type.) My window is open and I am thinking about where I am going to go to get a margarita later. I think Fonda, although their happy hour is only at the bar and otherwise it gets to be a little expensive so maybe not. I’m going to get a margarita and read a book outside somewhere and it’s going to be very pleasant. “Don’t you have a friend to go with?” No. “Don’t you have work to do?” STOP!

It is not time for there to be not any more snow yet. That’s the line you can quote for when you tweet this. It’s February. It started being May about a week ago. That’s nice because May is better, “no duh,” if you’ll permit the colloquialism, but I wasn’t done with February yet. I have a nice hat that I like, and, as you know, I’d love to see more snow. Maybe you think it’s going to get cold again and we should enjoy this weather now. I agree and I agree. But here is my question: do you think it’s going to SNOW again? A big snow?

Do you?

I sometimes worry that the majority of my writing is not tethered to reality in any way on account of how I don’t know anything and technically have nothing to offer. With this in mind I’ve constructed a chart. It shows how the number (or “amount”) I’ve thought we were going to get another big snow has decreased over the course of this week:

The data are not in yet for Friday (today) but my guess is that the line will continue “going down.”

But, you might be wondering: Does snow make people happy like warm weather does, according to the “New York Today” today? Good question. I’d like to give the floor to EdgeCrusher from Yahoo Answers. He will be sharing with you a selection from his post titled “Why does snow make me happy?”:

this year has kind of sucked for me for several reasons. but it snowed here the other day and it just kills my bad mood and im happy. i dont care how cold it is, i could just stand outside while its snowing and it makes me happy. its like in clerks II when randall says the go-karts “center” him as he put it. i just feel happy and everything going on in my head goes away when it snows. it doesnt snow often here either so its great for me on the rare occasion that it does.

I think you have your answer.

Is “not getting any more snow” the biggest thing we have to worry about at this point? Yes. Or, sorry, I meant no. But it is one of the biggest? Of course.

And I’m worried.