No More Loud Instagram Stories

No more.

Karaoke. The club. A situation where people are so excited about a birthday that they are screaming, I don’t know why. There are a lot of loud occurrences in life that are either fun or un-fun, depending, but they all have one thing in common: they’re loud. The other thing they have in common is they’re upsetting when they’re in your Instagram story and you don’t mute them, a decision that I understand only if the reason behind it is that you forgot to mute it and you’re embarrassed but not so embarrassed that you want to delete it because you still want to share the experience, which is your right as a user of Instagram.

Oh my gosh, can I think of anything less important than this? Yes. The “doggo” issue that I mentioned yesterday was slightly less important. Or maybe it was slightly more important? I can’t decide, now that I’m thinking about it. In either case I’ve now moved onto this: the issue about the Instagram stories. Does it depress me that this is the second time I’ve written about Instagram stories? No, mind your own business. I don’t care. I don’t judge you. Except when it comes to your Instagram stories and various other things.

I don’t understand the motivation behind this. Do you think people want to hear your friends screaming at karaoke all of a sudden, autoplayed after the Instagram story of a friend who doesn’t typically include such things? No. Some loud song, or whatever? Someplace? Nobody needs to hear this. Not if it’s not the main thing of your Instagram story. It doesn’t sound good. Crackly on your phone. Too loud. A bunch of women screaming because they’re excited about, what, a birthday? I should just unfollow Aaron Paul’s wife Lauren Paul because this is what her Instagram stories are exclusively, but I keep forgetting.

What if it is the main thing of your Instagram story? Then, OK, fine. Maybe there’s a song playing at the bar and you’re like, “This is crazy. I want everybody to know this song is playing.” Or something. Maybe somebody is dancing to the song, and the song is integral? Use your discretion. Sometimes it’s OK. But mostly you should mute.

Sometimes I forget to mute and my phone is on silent so I don’t realize that I haven’t muted until it’s later and I think, “Oops!” That’s bad. I’m not perfect, but I am right. The default should be muted. That’s Instagram’s fault.

Mostly it’s bad for karaoke but also other things.

OK.

Love you,

Kelly Conaboy

PS: You shouldn’t be filming people doing karaoke anyway. That’s private.