Spoiler: It’s Not Gonna Work
Equine therapy: will it cure you of your homosexuality, or will it fight a losing battle with the rugged good looks of the cowboy/cowgirl who helps you mount? Heh, “mount.” Heh, “chaps.” Heh, “delicious chuckwagon breakfast.”
(Source is NSFW if kind-of-sweaty-looking guys in underwear is a problem? Quit that job, become a blogger! But not for the RNC.)