More-Accurate Bath & Body Works Fragrance Names
by Elizabeth Oporto
Sex With Someone Who Doesn’t Like Me
All I’ve Eaten Today Are Six Almonds and Some Cheetos Dust
I Wish I Could Walk in Heels
These Braces Are Ruining My Life
I Only Shop Here Because My Mother-in-Law Shows Her Disdain By Giving Me Gift Cards to This Store
I Still Don’t Have Boobs
Pop Tarts for Dinner, Again
I’d Rather Be a Mean Girl
I’ve Been Listening to the Same Taylor Swift Song on Repeat Since Yesterday
Maybe If I Smell Like Slutty V8 He’ll Like Me Better
I’d Rather Eat a Can of Frosting, But I’ll Settle For Smelling Like I Did
All the Condoms Under My Sink Are Expired
Sometimes I Feel Stupid for Just Saying No
My Boyfriend Won’t Use a Coaster
I Have to Use Internet Explorer at Work
My Secret Crush Is Matt Lauer
French Kissing Scares Me
I Ran Out of Deodorant
This Is Better Than Smelling Like Chips and Salsa on a First Date
Elizabeth Oporto lives in Brooklyn and never wears perfume.
Photo by Suzi Nelson, via Shutterstock