Megan’s Horrifying And Traumatic Story

By Kelly Conaboy May 11, 2017

It’s related to the horrifying and traumatic story about the octopus-looking thing that was found in the Vita Coco carton.

Have you had the misfortune of seeing this New York Post story about a horrifying alien octopus trash heap that some lady allegedly found in her Vita Coco carton?

Mom finds gross ‘squid-like’ horror in her coconut water

I’m so sorry if you hadn’t, because, as you can see, the photo is displayed quite prominently in the embedded link, and now you’ve seen what it looks like. It’s truly making me sick to look at and think about and I hate that it exists. Don’t click on the story. I’m really mad and my stomach and throat feel upset. And now look at this Slack transcript from fucking MEGAN!!!!!!!:

Megan Reynolds: you know…something like that clump fell out of a san pellegrino soda thingie i was drinking once

Kelly Conaboy: WHAT?!

Megan: i just remembered this

Kelly: MEGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Megan: i had finished the thing

Kelly: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Megan: and poured out the dribble into the sink, which was empty

Megan: and my sister came home like an hour later and was like WHAT IS THIS IN THE SINK

Kelly: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Megan: and i said idk my soda can???

Megan: and it was my soda can

Megan: but then it was ALSo a weird blobby thing that resembled an oyster perhaps

Megan: not nearly as large

Kelly: MEGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Megan: as that monstrosity

Megan: i know

Megan: i clearly blocked this from my mind

Kelly: Oh my god

Kelly: What did you do

Megan: because i think i almost barfed

Kelly: Did you get sick

Megan: my sister def almost barfed

Megan: no i was fine????

Megan: but….

Megan: we never figured out what it was

Kelly: Wow]

Megan: whew fuck i just gagged looking at that picture

Megan: yeah very traumatic

Kelly: jesus

Kelly: What are these things

Kelly: What is happening

Megan: i have no idea

Megan: we never googled it or like tried to assess

Megan: because i think we both wanted to forget it happened

AND THAT’S THE END OF THE STORY???????????????????

Silvia is making me tell you to let me know in the comments if you’ve also seen one of these things in a soda can. Honestly I would rather die than know but she’s the boss.