Company Eggs, the Very Best Pork Tenderloin Marinade, and Mash

During Jane’s recent trip to Utah, she came for brunch (!) and I made Company Eggs and promised I’d share my secret (adhering completely to a very straightforward online recipe involving a lot of butter and eggs and cheese). I’ve been making Company Eggs for about a year now, and they are a no-fail insta-success, so long as you don’t try to get clever and try different kinds of cheese. It’ll be fine, but no one will roll their eyes back into their head with ecstasy. “What about some feta?” you’re thinking. No. Just Gruyere. Only Gruyere.

Gruyere is kind of a bitch to grate, because it’s soft-ish, so see if you can get someone at the store to grate it for you. If you are at an actual CHEESE STORE, they will say no, because Gruyere will gum up their machine. It’s worth a shot, obviously. My cousin Phil makes fondue once a year, and routinely drives to four different places in Toronto until he finds a junior-looking employee who doesn’t know he’s not supposed to grate Gruyere for you. But, right, that’s pounds and pounds of Gruyere. You can grate eight ounces. Toughen up!

The other old guest-dinner standby in my arsenal is the Very Best Pork Tenderloin Marinade. I found it by typing “very best pork tenderloin marinade” into Google, and now I eat it about once a week. Jack Daniels does work best, but you can kind of Long Island Iced Tea it in terms of subbing in random half-empty bottles of booze. A few months ago I made it using a bottle of “Yukon Jack” we found in the pantry when we moved into our house, and it was fine. I dump the pork and all the stuff in a plastic Ziploc bag in the fridge first thing in the morning, and then I take it out at dinnertime, pat it dry, sear the pork on all sides in a cast-iron skillet, then finish it in a 400 degree oven for about 15 minutes or until it’s 150-ish on a meat thermometer. If it’s summer, serve with a salad, if it’s winter, serve with a bunch of roasted root veggies OR…

Mash. I don’t eat a lot of starches, so I like to go balls-out when I do. Go to the grocery store and buy some large combination of white potatoes, turnips, parsnips, and carrots. A head of cauliflower too, if you want. Peel and hack ’em up. The harder the vegetable, the smaller the pieces. Cover with cold water and boil it for a long time until things are soft-ish. Drain the water, and dump in about two sticks of butter. I’m not joking. Butter is good for you. Mash, add sea salt and pepper, eat. It’s like more interesting mashed potatoes, and there are weird colors in it. Goes with everything.

Okay, you should be fine until spring. Eat up.