Flannery O’Connor and a New Diet Book

“Who knew a quarter of a cup of balsamic vinegar dressing added up to a whopping 209 calories?”
 — Everyone. Everyone born since 1946 knows that. But why not buy another book about it? Or you could buy “Flannery O’Connor: The Cartoons” instead (Indiebound | Amazon). Did you know she drew cartoons and probably did not know how many calories were in a quarter of a cup of balsamic vinegar dressing? True story. Or you could buy the new English diet book. Spoiler: you don’t eat on weekends. You eat a little! The equivalent of a half-cup of balsamic vinegar dressing a day. Maybe you could eat just a quarter of a cup, and then have calories left to eat the O’Connor book and a sleeve of unconsecrated Communion wafers, and then call it “The Southern Gothic Diet.”