“Could it be chickens? Could it be pigs? I don’t know.”

by Bobby Finger

A total of six people have now died of H7N9, the newest is-it-or-isn’t-it-actually-terrifying acronym we more commonly refer to as “Bird Flu.” Though 20,000 chickens have been killed as a precaution, the source of the strain isn’t yet known. “Could it be chickens? Could it be Pigs? I don’t know,” a CDC official told The Washington Post. “Clearly, if there is evidence that the virus spread from human to human, that becomes a game-changing event,” he added. Whether or not it spreads from Gwyneth to human has not been addressed.

Well, as Ralph Macchio said in My Cousin Vinny, “There’s nothing to worry about ’til there’s something to worry about.” He was then, of course, wrongfully accused of murder and escaped the death penalty only because his cousin brilliantly argued the case in an Alabama court. So. Let’s hope H7N9 finds its Joe Pesci.

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