National Geographic is Doing a Three Night Special on 1980s Culture

Really! And here’s the schedule:

Slow Loris Lionel Richie tells us about the biggest pan flute makeout songs of the decade. Then Opossum John McEnroe tickles him until he freezes in fear.

Aardvark Soleil Moon Frye has a “where are they now?” segment on crazy celebrity baby animal names. Wait until you see what Penguin Bob Geldof’s kid is up to now!

Wolverine Duran Duran Unplugged goes acoustic for “Hungry Like the Wolverine,” which is exactly the same song as “Hungry Like the Wolf,” but angrier and with a minor Napoleon complex.

Owl Tom Brokaw takes us through the fall of the Berlin Wall and the Exxon Valdez disaster, because he is the wisest and most serious of the animals.

Mink Christie Brinkley kicks off a journey through shoulder pads and blue eyeshadow, and gives us the dirt on what it was really like to work with Jackal Chevy Chase.

Arctic Fox Tom Wolfe and Lemur Jay McInerney count down their list of the top 10 novels, deciding that it’s ultimately a three-way tie between Chris Van Allsburg’s “The Polar Express,” Eric Carle’s “The Very Busy Spider,” and Elizabeth George Speare’s “The Sign of the Beaver.”

The special closes with a recreation of Hands Across America that results in literally thousands of calls to local law enforcement and animal control.