The Penis Dictionary

by Kristen Iskandrian and Tao Lin

oscicloosiclocsius — a penis whose length is twelve times the width

lance bass — a penis shaped like a human head

vunculum — a penis with avuncular qualities

loga — a penis that weighs over 4 pounds

paypal — a penis with a magnetic strip that can be used at an ATM machine in the event of a missing ATM card

kristin — a penis that looks familiar

ewek — a penis that appears smaller than it really is

hapepned — a penis that looks vaguely wrong

buebye — a penis that made a noise

abotu — a penis that longs to be something else

megacash — a penis that looks extremely promising

goind — a penis that feels strange

losuohbeshe — a penis that is stuck to another penis

ok-yes-good — a penis that can speak rudimentary english

goragons — a penis made of steel

Photo via hindrik/flickr.

Tao Lin is the author of seven books, most recently TAIPEI (Vintage); Kristen Iskandrian’s work has been published widely online and in print, most recently in Tin House.