7 Haikus For Failed Hip Hop Clothing Lines

by Kate Gavino

FJ560 by Fat Joe
Before Rocawear
And even before Sean John
A lone voice: Fat Joe.

Earl Simmons Signature Collection by DMX
I have one question
That plagues my mind, DMX
Oatmeal tracksuits: why?

FuMan Skeeto by Chris Kirkpatrick
Does it pain you, Chris
That JT brought sexy back
But not the goatee?

Bushi Sport by Busta Rhymes
Your contribution
To the Rugrats film soundtrack
Means this too shall pass.

Vokal by Nelly
The Apple Bottom
Did not fall far from the tree
But the band-aid did.

LL Cool J for Sears by LL Cool J
Ladies love Cool J
Sadly ladies do not love
Bedazzled hoodies

Foreign Money by Lil Wayne
Dwayne Michael Carter
You’ve got enough on your plate
Shed no tears for this

Previously: The Outsiders: Where Are They Now?

Kate Gavino is a writer living in Brooklyn. Her work has appeared in xoJane, HelloGiggles, The Airship, and Prefix Mag, and she runs the blog Last Night’s Reading. Follow her on Twitter @kategavino.