Celesbians Bi-Weekly: The Greatest Skull On Earth

New hairstyles, new YA novels, and reading between the Instagrams

Welcome back to the bi-weekly column about the comings and goings of famous (and famous-ish) women who date other women. Should I have called it Ceeping up with the Celesbians? Haha.

Look, some two-week periods are chock-full of celesbian news and gossip and others are, well. Thank god Kristen Stewart cut her hair again! Shaved it, to be more precise — she did it for a role in the upcoming film Underwater, though she also says that shaving her head is something she’d wanted to do for ages (duh). It looks good! A little yellow, maybe. Not as hot as the short greaser bob, in my opinion. But man, what a skull! Congrats to Kristen Stewart on having a perfect frickin’ head.

Stella Maxwell wrecked the Northeast United States on Tuesday, dumping over a foot of snow in upstate New York. We’re monitoring her progress and will provide you with updates when we have them.

(Lol, SORRY, but how often am I going to get the chance to make a celesbian/weather event tie-in joke? Stella the person seems fine? An account believed to be KStew’s personal IG commented “Dweeb” on a picture where she looks serene and beautiful. Hot people.)

Samira Wiley posted a truly amazing photograph of her celebrating her joint bachelorette party (prior to her upcoming wedding to Lauren Morelli) and early 30th birthday in Miami. #shitwaslit

This installment’s Cara Delevingne update was going to be about her new hairstyle, which is an above-shoulder platinum bob, which some might say reminds them of a platinum bob a certain celesbian columnist had in like, 2015. But then she went and wrote a young adult novel about a group of friends named Red, Leo, Naima, and Rose. Honestly, those are great young adult novel names, and at least one of those girls is gonna be gay (my money’s on Leo), and I’ll probably love it.

Ruby Rose and girlfriend Jessica Origliasso were embroiled in an extremely Who-y days-long dispute about whether a dish they ordered at a restaurant had a cockroach in it or not, and so what if it did, who the heck told the Daily Telegraph? Literally the entire story, revealed over several articles, is that Ruby and Jess (who are vegans, as if that matters in this context) were served a dish with a cockroach in it, the chef was very sorry and embarrassed and comped their meal. Ruby got mad the story made the news and accused a publicist (not hers) of leaking it to the press. And here I am, telling you about it now.

Lesbians, am I right? Talking, laughing, loving, breathing, sending back dishes because there’s a cockroach in them and seeing the story in the Daily Telegraph and subsequently firing off several angry tweets to a publicist we suspect of leaking! This is the way, it’s the way that we live, it’s the waayyyyy that we liiiiiive! And looooooove!