Ask Baba Yaga: I Feel Tired and Ill and Powerless When I Spend Time With My Family

Transcript after the jump.

Dear Baba Yaga,

I feel tired and ill and powerless when I spend time with my family. They love me very much and I love them, but I still feel like an alien around them. How can I learn to spend time with them and not feel exhausted and depressed afterwards?

BABA YAGA:

With your family, you are as planet — fixed & solitary in your orbits, & you; the coldest loneliest one,. But this is not:the you-yourself. Neither is it the truth of yr family that they are such. ;Remember the animal of you with its heat & hunger, pacing the stars & tearing them open. ;So is yr family made of need&itching bones. Angry as it is, the stew of all yr bones together is better & truer than All yr mutely orbiting. Feel yr own meat & howl out to theirs when the fire draws you close.

Previously: “One Morning I Am Emboldened and On Fire, the Next I Am Choking in the Smoke”

Taisia Kitaiskaia is a poet, writer, and Michener Center for Writers fellow. She’s taking questions on behalf of Baba Yaga at [email protected].