Writer Unable to Use Important Words Correctly

Giving the Ross Douthat “Daughter Theory” column a run for its idiocy money is this other Times piece, written from deep inside a juice-cleansed Butt of Privilege. Here is exhibit #1:

Instagram — the highest achievement yet in social-media voyeurism — presents a new form of torture.

A new form of torture! Kids grow up so fast these days. Here are some other, older forms of torture that have the potent lexical advantage of being real: solitary confinement, incommunicado detention, the denial of medical treatment, the denial of safe abortion and post-abortion care, the denial of adequate nutrition, excessive use of force by law enforcement. Okay, here’s exhibit #2:

Instagram envy may turn out to be an epidemic with no cure.

Here we also have the opportunity to mourn the human toll left by Instagram, truly an “epidemic with no cure.” Diabetes, ebola, polio, cancer and HIV have all been outpaced by the vast swath of destruction left by a picture-based iPhone app. A memorial service for approximately 26 people at the apex of neurosis and urban wealth will be held tomorrow in a hollow echo chamber at the [NYTimes].