You’re My Favorite
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUdZxO4FIxE
If you’ve been following the “Shit ___s Say [to ___s]” meme (it started with “Shit Girls Say” and spread to, among others, “Shit Black Girls Say” and “Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls,” etc.), there’s now “Shit Gay Guys Say to Their Cats,” by Rich Juzwiak, and it is good.