Who Will Join Me at Red Robin for a Wineshake

This spring, burger chain Red Robin will begin serving wine milkshakes in its 496 restaurants across the U.S. and Canada.

BUT WHY?

“In the American diet, we are always looking for more adventures,” says Balzer from NPD Group.

That’s true! It was un-American for me to ask, Balzer, I apologize.

“My immediate reaction to wine coolers in 1995 was the same kind of feeling as a wine milkshake … Who knows, it could really take off.”

These are the best of times and the worst of times in our rapidly decaying empire:

Olive Garden wouldn’t disclose specifics, but an executive told Fortune that that the chain is coming out with a new adult beverage in June that will revolutionize its menu.

Red Robin’s initial offering will be composed of “vanilla soft serve, moscato-flavored vodka, and moscato wine.” The chain’s “master mixologist” describes it as “definitely sweet.” [Fortune]