Dumb Study About 29-Year-Olds So Goddamn Dumb

Yesterday, the Independent wrote up an obviously bad study in grand press-release style (lede: “At 29 you may be wondering where it all went wrong…”), sharing with the world the amazing findings of a gluten-free bread company:

In the last year of our Twenties we have 80 friends, as a result of still being in contact with school friends while also having solidified some work-based ones, too. A survey of 1,505 Britons found that the average person has 64 friends and that they’re most likely to meet them at work rather than at college or university.

[…]The research, conducted by food firm Genius Gluten Free, also found that we have more in common with colleagues than we do from old school mates.

Genius Gluten Free’s actual research is not available anywhere online, and the very little data shared here is enough to make it clear that the study is non-representative and in search of an ephemeral, stupid conclusion besides. But some highly prized demographic of content-sharin’ 27 to 29-year-olds is enough to get this ungrammatical, gluten-free press release reprinted and a rack of sites taking up the barely edited cry like a terrible game of telephone. From The Cut, a post tagged “Dubious Studies” and shared on Facebook 13,000 times:

In their 29th year, humans are likely to have an average of 80 friends, which is about 30 percent more friends than the average held by other age groups (64 friends). That means 29 years old is the most popular age of all.

This information comes from a survey of just over 1,500 British people, which was conducted (inexplicably) by a group called Genius Gluten Free. The survey reveals that at 29 years people still keep connections with school friends, while also having several years to develop work friendships.

From The Stir:

Those approaching their third decade have approximately 80 friends, which is about 30 percent more than those in any other age group, based on a survey of 1,505 Britons.

The firm that conducted the study, Genius Gluten Free, explains that at 29, people are still in touch with school friends but have also forged new bonds with work colleagues.

From Business Standard:

Food firm Genius Gluten Free Study conducted a survey on 1,505 Brits and found that at 29, a person could has 80 friends, which compile of their school, college as well as work pals, the Independent reported.

The study claimed that a person generally had 64 friends on an average which are most likely from their workplace, who they have more in common with in comparison old school buddies.

From the Daily Mail:

It is reckoned that 29 years old is the time when we have the biggest circle of friends. through work, social media and old school mates.

Although our closest confidante is still most likely to be an old friend from school days, we actually have more in common with workmates.

From the Guardian:

Researchers have discovered that 29-year-olds are more popular than any other age group. At 29, humans will have an average of 80 friends — 30% more than the average across other ages, 64. Your popularity has peaked because you’re still in touch with your old school friends, but you’ve been in the workplace long enough to have forged strong bonds with your colleagues.

From Marie Claire UK:

According to a survey of 1,505 Britons, 29 is our most popular age. The average person is likely to have 64 friends, but 29-year-olds have 80. At 29, we’ve managed to stay in touch with old school and uni friends, and have also forged new relationships with colleagues.

The survey also revealed that the bonds we form with our colleagues are much stronger than those with our schoolmates.

From Stylecaster:

According to a new British survey of just over 1,500 people (via the Guardian), it seems that folks who are 29 years old have an average of 80 friends — the highest number of pals we’ll ever have. This is largely due to the fact that, at 29, we’re still in that period of keeping in touch with school friends, but we’ve been out in the real world long enough to have solidified relationships with people from work, too.

And on and on in our little world of garbage.