Nicole Soojung Callahan wrote this lovely, thoughtful piece at The Toast on transracial adoption.

But these days I’m far more willing to call attention to the challenges of raising children of color in a fundamentally racist society. I tell prospective adoptive parents to take a good, hard look at their social circles, their neighborhoods, their churches, their communities and think about how those places and spaces will look and feel to their child. I ask them what they’ll say when their kids hear slurs and taunts from bullies, and how they will answer tough questions about the persistence of racism and a playing field that is far from level. I recommend books and blogs by adoptees that don’t mince words about the fact that love has never actually been enough for anyone. And I don’t pretend to have all the answers; these are things I fret over all the time, too, raising two multiracial kids myself. I’m well aware that it’s not easy, and that my girls have inherited a messy and ambiguous legacy from me, their mother who is not white but has never been a “real” Korean.

Nicole Soojung Callahan wrote this lovely, thoughtful piece at The Toast on transracial adoption. There are so many exemplary nuggets to choose from, so make sure you read the whole thing, but this stuck with me. This weekend, my boyfriend and I were talking about our long-term ambitions, all of which don’t quite match up just yet. We have a few well-worn arguments, most notably “Is Jazmine actually funny or does she just quote 30 Rock really well?”, but this is the one we always circle back to: Should we settle down in the country (where he’s from and wants to go) or in a city (where I’m from, where I’d like to stay, and where we live right now)?

Above all, I told him, I want to start a family in a place rich in diversity — -same-sex parents, multi-racial kids, the whole nine yards. I want this more than I want to be close to my own family, which is scattered around the East Coast, more than I want to live in a capital of my industry. Hearing people say things like “I was the only black kid in my town” make my mind reel. He and I are an interracial couple, and if we want a family, I’d want to be surrounded by ones that look like our own. He agrees with the importance of all of the above, but wishes we could find somewhere that had all that, plus a little more nature.

Where in the world can one find a location with grace, elegance, taste and culture? A city suitable for a king (that still has grass and trees?!)?

We’re thinking Queens.