Raina Douris, What’s Actually In Your Bag Right Now?

I met Raina the old-fashioned way: she hosts a radio show on Toronto’s Indie88 station, which I would listen to during slow shifts at the bookstore where I used to work. One day, she commented on a mutual friend’s Facebook status, so naturally I decided to add her as a friend.

When I asked if I could go through her personal belongings, she invited me to the Indie88 offices last week. Her coworkers were rubbing sunscreen on a giant inflatable palm tree, “to make it feel like summer.” It was everything I hoped a radio station would be. Here are the contents of her giant rust-colored backpack.

1. Lowell CD. I get CDs sent to me all the time. I played her song this week, so she sent me this CD with 50 dollars on it. The song is called “I Love You Money.” It’s play money. I think the picture on it is supposed to look like the Dude from the Big Lebowski.

2. I just started getting into graphic novels. I just started Y: The Last Man. I mean, just started it. I’ve hardly looked at it at all.

3. I’m in the middle of Bill Bryson’s The Mother Tongue. I like to have one fun book and one nonfiction book at the same time. This is a book about linguistics. You’ll find yourself when you read it just saying words out loud the entire time. If I read this on the streetcar I look crazy, just saying the same word with different pronunciations over an over.

4. Extra socks, because I’m breaking in my Doc Martens right now. The other day I came home and my socks were covered in blood.

5. That’s also why I have these Band-Aids.

6. My sweet alien wallet, from Chosen. It has a wallet chain hole, in case I want to bring it back, which I’m considering.

7. My old driver’s license. I got my new one, with the worst picture in the world. My old one, I just look grumpy. My new one, I look stoned.

8. Sunglasses.

9. Phone charger.

10. Headphones. I think I’ve had a million pairs of the same headphones. The cheap ones you get from Shopper’s Drug Mart.

11. Pill box. There’s nothing in it right now.

12. Condom, because safety is cool.

13. Keys. I was on Cafe Press buying something else and they were like, “You need five more dollars to complete your order,” so I made a custom keychain that says “Laughs Forever” on it.

14. Worry dolls. I got these when I was really little and found them the other day.

15. Adderall. Pretty fun.

16. Oatmeal, because I’m working mornings right now. The morning show is on vacation right now, so I fill in when they’re gone. Two of them are on vacation, but one is still here, so I’ve got a cohost, which I’ve never worked with before. It’s really fun. 4 a.m. wakeup call every day, but then you’re done at like, noon.

17. Tic Tacs.

18. Makeup. I carry around way too much makeup. Like, an embarrassing amount. I don’t even use half of it. I never know if I’m going to get home before I have to go out to something. So I just bring everything I own with me everywhere all the time. When I carry an actual purse, this is by far the heaviest thing in the bag, even though I use maybe three things out of here.
Here are the things that are showing:
 — This is like, a blush? It smells really good. It has a cool box. I don’t know why I like Benefit so much, but I think it’s the packaging.
 — That Pure Minerals foundation. It’s sunscreen and foundation in one.
 — Strawberry lip balm
 — Eyeliner
 — Lip Venom, the greatest thing in the world. I don’t even think it really does anything, but it feels like, “My lips look sexy cause they feel sexy.”
 — This bronzer is also amazing. Also Benefit. I feel like I’m in a Benefit commercial, but it’s so good.
 — Burt’s Bees Res-Q Ointment. My nose is all fucked up from the cold. You just put it on your face and it feels like things are going to be ok.

19. Moleskine. It’s a journal for drawings and shitty poetry that no one will ever read.

20. My phone! I lose my phone all the time. I think I lost it three times in three months last year. I already used my free upgrade, I used somebody else’s loaner phone. Finally, I was like, “I can’t have an iPhone or a nice Samsung Galaxy anymore.” This girl was selling this. It’s like a…Lumia 1020, I think it’s called? It’s a Nokia phone. It’s the worst. It crashes all the time. I hate it so much. Last night, it didn’t go off when it was supposed to wake me up and I was almost late for work. It just crashed in the middle of the night. I put some stickers on it to make it more phone. So, that’s my phone.