Tinder Bios

“lol just here to see what this Tinder thing is all about.”
“Hah, I don’t usually do things like this.”
“Not sure what to expect here…”
“My friends and I thought this would be a good laugh”
“My friends made this account for me and I’m too lazy to delete it”
“What? Woah! How’d I get here? What is this?”
“Seriously, this isn’t even my phone. I found it on the ground and it just logged me into Tinder when I was trying to find its rightful owner. 6’0, scorpio btw”
“plz send help i am being held hostage by deranged lunatics and Tinder is the only way i can communicate with the outside world save me. no uggos.”

“Looking for someone fun.”
“Looking for someone who can stir up trouble…”
“Looking for a partner in crime”
“Looking for a Bonnie to my Clyde”
“Looking for somebody to say they were with me between the hours of 6:00 and 9:30pm last night”
“Looking for somebody who knows who to get blood stains out of the truck of my car and won’t ask too many questions.”

“I’m into books, movies, music, and spending time with my friends.”
“I like to have fun and hang out, that sort of thing.”
“I don’t like people who are negative and start drama.”
“In general, I would say that I prefer feeling good over feeling bad and nice things over crappy things.”
“I like food. Chewing it, swallowing it, digesting it — all things pertaining to eating, really. I’m a bit of a foodie.”
“Breathing’s neat. Have you tried breathing? You just exhale, and then inhale, and then exhale again. Or you can inhale, exhale, and then inhale again. Put your own spin on it. No uggos.”

“I’m pretty open minded”
“I’m into trying new things.”
“I guess you can say I have a sense of adventure.”
“I’m a little bit of a risk taker…”
“Butt stuff. I’m into butt stuff.”

Anna Fitzpatrick was hanging out with the second guy at the discotheque between 6 and 9:30 last night.