Who Do You Have Embarrassing Sex Dreams About? or, Alec Baldwin Did A Thing on Reddit

You know Alec Baldwin! We all do: actor, podcast host, possible racist, Words with Friends enthusiast, serial retweeter. He did a Reddit AMA yesterday and it was fine, I guess, if you were looking for him to say “I love Elaine Stritch” and “I have dogs” and “I think when you’re a professional actor, you never exhaust your expression library. That’s almost impossible. That’s the difference between an amateur actor, and a professional actor, is that I have an inexhaustible store of expressions in my library.” Alec.

But I read the whole thing because, for years, Alec has been my Object of My Questionable Sex Dreams — my OMQSD, if you will — and I just like to consume all information about him!!! (I am realizing now that this may be my brain’s way of factchecking my sex dreams.) This is a cry for help. My name is Jazmine Hughes, and I don’t have sex dreams a lot, but when I do, they’re about Alec Baldwin.

You guys probably know how much I love 30 Rock — -I love 30 Rock so much I wanna take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant

— -and I’m so familiar with the show that, if I’m having trouble sleeping, I’ll put it on and have it serve as sort of a white noise. So yes, maybe I’m setting myself up for this — -but I never have sex dreams about him on the nights I fall asleep to 30 Rock!! He just lurks in my subconscious, ready to pounce, always wearing a suit. (The worst part about this is that I never have sex dreams about young AB — -he’s always Jack Donaghy age. Brain, cut me a break!!!) Sometimes I am his Liz Lemon???? Oh god. Anyway: I’ve revealed a dark, terrible secret of mine, so now it’s your turn! Who’s the weirdest person you have sex dreams about? Please respond so I don’t look like a crazed sex freak.