A Recent Visit To A Local Bookstore

By Haley Mlotek March 16, 2015

On Saturday the weather was grey and foggy and damp and even though my head hurt (I always get headaches in rainy weather) and my hair was frizzy (same) after I met my sister for lunch I didn’t want to go home just yet. I convinced her to come with me to my favorite bookstore in my neighborhood “just for one quick second” which, as we’ve already established, is a sign I’m about to spend way too much money in a very short amount of time.

I bought these books:

I know, I know, but LET ME FINISH.

We went up to the cash register to pay and were just making small talk with the man who works there — bags, yes, receipt, no — and he kind of looked at me and looked at the books I was buying and was like, “Based on the books that you’re buying, I think I might have something you’d be interested in…” and he turned to the GLASS CABINET that they keep LOCKED because that’s how you know they have some good shit, and he pulled out THIS:

“Have you ever heard of it?” he asked, and I hadn’t, and so he explained: “It’s a French feminist philosopher who wrote a bunch of books about women waging war on men, so…it seems like something you’d like, I think?” And he was so right that I just burst out laughing, and I told him I was impressed that he had figured me out so thoroughly, and he replied that the Simone de Beauvoir and Anais Nin had been all he needed to see; so, fine, I’m not mysterious or complex, anyone with a pulse and an antiquarian shop specializing in uncommon books can figure me out, I’ve made my peace with that. I bought the book and read it in about an hour. I loved it. The first half is really just various metaphors and hyperbolic descriptions of vulvas. Examples: