32 Competent Things Men Do That We Find Sexual, Ranked

by Alex and Haley

32. Wears an analog watch.
31. Changes a light bulb.
30. Knows the wattage.
29. Poaches an egg.
28. Peels an orange, hands you a slice.
27. Legible handwriting.
26. Takes groceries out of shopping bags.
25. Knows the words to disco songs.
24. Knows the names of two of your friends (first names only are fine).
23. Kicks your feet, propped up on coffee table, out of the way so he can walk around you.
22. Flips book over to read back copy.
21. Pours you coffee, hands it to you.
20. Sips a glass of water, bedside, late at night.
19. Has Advil.
18. Orders fries for the table.
17. Talks to your shy friend.
16. Leaves a room without announcing it.
15. Pets a kitten.
14. Holds a baby.
13. Kills a bug.
12. Takes a bug outside instead of killing it.
11. Hails taxi in the right direction.
10. Answers the phone: “hey”
9. Has a perfect jump shot.
8. Knows what a jump shot is but doesn’t care to explain it.
7. Blows smoke rings.
6. Strong, steady whistle.
5. Draws map on a napkin.
4. Wears sunglasses outside, never in.
3. Bathes.
2. Wears a white t-shirt.
1. Drives.

Thank you, Dayna Tortorici, Durga Chew-Bose, Melissa Hughes, and Sarah Nicole Prickett, for their sensual and stirring contributions. Click here for more.