A Canadian Visits The Nation’s Capital

Ok, so I have a very serious question about politics and the Washington, D.C. tourism industry: is the official White House Gift Shop merchandised according to the political party currently in office? Because I was there over the weekend, and…

All the merchandise seemed to be exclusively related to the Democratic party! The only Republican I recognized was Abraham Lincoln, and he was a paper doll.

They were selling “Hillary 2016” merchandise. That seems…pointed.

I mean, I’m not complaining. I am just genuinely curious! This was the gift shop directly beside the White House; it was clearly the official, sanctioned center for taking money away from dumb tourists, such as myself. When I saw the sign I texted my sisters: should I go to the White House Gift Shop and stock up on family presents for the next ten years? Duh, of course. Even Canadian dads love a novelty sweatshirt from America’s capital.

It occurred to me that maybe there was a second Republican gift shop somewhere nearby, but I walked around the entire perimeter over the weekend and couldn’t see anything.

I could have asked an employee at the store this question. To be totally honest, I was…embarrassed! What if this was one of those things that every American just knows, and by asking I was betraying my Canadian-ness? I had two conversations over the weekend that began with the other person saying “You’re American, right?” and giving the honest answer felt like I was disappointing them.

I recognize I could have consulted a popular Internet search engine for the answer. I started to do that. But… I don’t want to do that either. I want someone who knows the answer to explain it all to me. You can start by explaining the existence of this product:

Mostly, I am impressed by how a complex political ideology can be successfully explained through a key chain. This is not a criticism. One of the best editors I ever had used to frequently remind me that anyone can make a simple idea complicated; real brilliance is making a complicated thing simple. I scanned that store and understood, in five seconds or less, what kind of political leanings were welcomed there. The feelings a few hundred million people have about America™ are very complicated; a gift shop is very simple.

So, here I am!! Directing my dumb questions to the Internet, where hopefully someone with the patience of a saint is waiting to explain America to me.