Janet Jackson, “Runaway”

by Alexandra Molotkow

Notes on “Runaway”:

1. “Well, I’ve ridden elephants before, my brother has a few.” Apparently riding elephants is painful, and so is being sprayed with apple by a well-meaning elephant who only wants to share her apple.

2. Also painful: dancing in front of a MOVING PROPELLER. “It was going full speed, and I started to tear…It was scaring me. And I could just see myself falling forward and being chopped into chunks. [LAUGHS] Chunks of meat!”

3. Imagine Janet Jackson were your wife.

4. Imagine Janet Jackson were your neighbor and sometimes you heard her voice murmuring indecipherably through the walls.

5. This director, Marcus Nispel, also directed “Spice Up Your Life” and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake (thank u Daniel).

6. What if the first scene was a death jump and the rest of the video is actually Janet’s dying fantasy???

7. I tried to choose the least culturally appropriative still for the main site.

8. Janet Jackson is alive and well and GOING ON TOUR.