Things I Don’t Understand, Ranked
by Alexandra Molotkow
32. Orgies
31. Oysters
30. Primus
29. The difference between the Control, Option, Command, and Function keys
28. Celery
27. Selfie Sticks
26. Arrested Development
25. “Bedskirts” — Haley Mlotek
24. Nightcaps
23. The Schmoney Dance
22. This joke
21. Jean-Luc Godard movies
20. Stella-Ella-Ola
19. Bob Dylan
18. Anal fisting
17. Magnets
16. Andy Kaufman
15. Any kind of video game other than sidescroller
14. The line: “You know the penalty for premature evacuation”
13. Ween
12. The difference between whiskey, scotch, and all the other ones
11. Pugs
10. Bulldogs
9. This
8. Society
7. Germ society
6. Psychobilly
5. Martin Short
4. Why ketchup works
3. Cats
2. Why “Peggy” is short for “Margaret”
1. Why I can’t wear white after Labor Day
Image by d’n’c, via Flickr