15 Tips for Women Who Never Leave the House

by Liz Colville

“We’re all feeling the pinch,” goes an article for women in today’s Daily Mail featuring a comic strip illustration of a woman doing the dishes while her husband reads a newspaper. “Here’s how to save time and money by making everything last longer.” By “everything,” the article is referring to truly everything you care about: hand soap, candles, lingerie, clothes, flowers, swimsuits, nail polish, hair dye, hairdryers, laundry, shower gel, and more! (But not that much more.)

The writer reports that cleaning the shower while in the shower is “addictive,” and also advises that when you vacuum (and you vacuum once a week, right?), you do it slowly. Fat, short candles are better than tall, skinny ones, and silk pillows will make your hair silky, according to some random British celebrity. Sold!