Woman Who Swore Off Women Ready to Give Women Another Whirl

Remember Kelly Valen? The woman whose sad Modern Love column about giving up on female friendship caused a bloggy shitstorm? Well, she’s written a survey-based book about ladies and friendship and is, in fact, back on the market for female friends. (“Don’t all raise your hands at once” is what a jerk would say, but I am a good, nice person.) Time interviewed her about her survey’s findings, and in the interview she reveals this:

Ninety percent of [the 3,000 women surveyed] said that they did have a solid girlfriend in their life. That’s wonderful news. But 84% of those same women said they had suffered real genuine wounding at the hand of other women. That shocked me.

OK, wait, tell me more about this silent 16% — the 432 women who claim to have never suffered wounding at the hands of another woman. Did they not have moms? Did they not go to school, ever? Also, never being hurt by another woman doesn’t seem like a good, normal, or strive-toward-able goal — it’s not as if simply by dint of being a woman I’ve given a silent oath to never hurt another, forever and ever until we lay one another into our soft shared grave. Because the times you fuck up but then figure it out are equally as important as the times when everything is all sleepovers and sticker books. The two things an adult woman loves most. Anyway, female friendship. A wonderful and sometimes crazy thing that I am sincerely glad Kelly Valen is now enjoying.

Photo by soopahgrover