My Favorite Harry Potter Smut Summaries

by Natasha Vargas-Cooper

Presented without comment.

-”Post-war Harry is surprised with a card delivered by a mystery man that reveals that not only is Draco Malfoy alive, he is rentable by the hour.”

-”Sirius felt a twist of fear in his guts. ‘Do you want to stop?’ he asked. ‘Just be friends again?’ Could he go back to being “just friends” with Remus after knowing the taste of his mouth and the feel of his body pressed against him?”

-”For the rest of the Ministry, the interdepartmental challenge was merely a failed attempt to restore trust between workers. But for Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger, it was the catalyst for an unexpected relationship built on passionate letters, concealed identities, and secret meetings — and the beginning of an end that neither of them could ever have imagined possible, not even in their wildest dreams. Post-war. Based somewhat on the story of the Phantom of the Opera.”

-”She slapped him, backhanded him, with the full force of a Beater who’d been the terror of Ravenclaw for three years running. ‘You were not given leave to speak.’”

-”Sometimes situations call for a things to be done because they are necessary — not right, or kind, or fair mdash; but essential. When Hermione is caught up in this desperate battle where there are no rules or guarantees, it is in the most unlikely of places that she finds her strength and safety. Hermione/Snape pairing. Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Dubious Consent, Non-Consensual Sex.”

-”At the imperceptible widening of her [Bellatrix] bruised eyes, he [Voldemort] snapped: ‘Cut the drama. I told you, you’ll live. I’m not pleased, but you’ll live. You’ve been stupid, presumptuous, and undeserving of the trust I placed in you, but you can still have a part in the war plan. Which one, it’s for me to decide.’”

-”Ginny Weasley recounts her participation in the second rise, and subsequent fall of Lord Voldemort. Not everyone is as innocent as we would like, or as kind as we would hope. Slash and incest warnings.”

-”Remus’ parents send him to a Christian camp designed to help him control his ‘Same Sex Attraction.’ Once there, Remus finds himself rooming with the devilishly handsome bad-boy, Sirius Black. Will he give in to temptation? Could the attraction he feels for Sirius be more than physical? Non-Magical 1970s AU.”

-”Voldemort punishes Draco by sentencing him to ‘service’ him. Harry catches a glimpse of this through their connection. Experiencing what the Dark Lord is, Harry begins to unintentionally fall to the surprising and enthralling allure of his arch nemesis.”

-”Very dark. Albus Dumbledore has been molesting Hogwarts boys for decades, but his undoing begins when he chooses Harry Potter, unleashing a chain of events that could be the undoing of the Light side.”

-”Massive crossover between Harry Potter/Buffy/Stargate/Star Trek Enterprise/X-Men/Fantastic Four/Iron Man/Highlander/Justice League/Underworld/Star Wars in that order. Full summary inside. Awesome power Harry, 735,000 words. 128 smut scenes.”

Photo via Flickr

Natasha Vargas-Cooper wrote a book and also writes The Hairpin’s Sophie’s F/M/K column with Julie Klausner.