Phrases Grosser Than “Baby Bump”

Have you heard about Natalie Portman’s baby bump? Or Mariah Carey’s baby bump? Or any other baby bumps? I hate this term, baby bump — it’s so smug and pimply. But can we make up something even grosser?

Fetus billow
Human uterus barnacle

Aand that’s it, I quit already. I’m sorry. Where is a music video we can watch? Oh, here’s a disgusting thought that’s grosser than the phrase “baby bump” — imagine if some of our pimples turned out to be tiny babies. Like, they were little pregnancies on our face, and when they burst a little baby came out. Then you’d be like, WTF do I do with this thing?! I’d probably squish it. :-/

TGIF, also.