Early Menstruation Not So Fun

Despite the thrill of womanhood, girls who get their periods early tend to be more depressed in teendom than girls who get their periods at the average age (12.5) or later. According to a long-term study on parents and kids,

[G]irls who started their periods early (before the age of 11.5 years) had the highest levels of depressive symptoms at ages 13 and 14.

Girls who started their periods later (after the age of 13.5 years) had the lowest levels of depressive symptoms.

Hmm. Someone should remind these early-developing girls to bring dark joy into their lives by making their late-blooming friends feel terrible about themselves as well (no, obviously they should not). But if they did, some powerful phrases to use include:

“Ummm, you wouldn’t understand?”

“Ohhh, I totally forgot, you … “ [trail off]

“Do you get it, though? Because I mean … “ [trail off]

“Ummm, that’s actually between me and [period-having friend’s name] right now” [look at PHFN and laugh a world-weary laugh you’ve only just mastered, possibly this very instant]

You’re welcome, little girls reading this!

Oh, but the study ends on a relieving note:

The researchers point out it is possible that girls who mature later may eventually experience similar levels of psychological distress to those who mature earlier, after enough time has passed.