Use This Perfume That Smells Like Money and You Will Be Rich

by Liz Colville

A Microsoft executive decided to take time off from his day job in order to work on an entrepreneurial venture: a his-and-hers line of perfume that smells like money. But money usually smells like BO! WTF! And other exclamations about how silly this is.

Patrick McCarthy, a VP of sales at Microsoft, created His Money Cologne and Her Money Eau de Parfum with the idea that the placebos already available in the world, like self-help books and health supplements and shit, are far too cheap. He believes that simply wearing the stuff will help people figure out where money is and how to make it theirs (legally?). McCarthy told AOL News, and there is also a video at that link that I’m too sad to watch:

I really feel that people who wear this will feel more confident.

Why? Why?

I got the idea after reading a story about a Japanese study that showed a significant increase in worker productivity when the smell of money was pumped through vents.

The world! Because McCarthy presumably has lots of his own money lying around (just save it, dude! Save. It.), he not only got this product off the ground, but “trademarked the term ‘money’ in relation to a fragrance.” Good.

The dominant “note” in the fragrances is clammy $20-bill BO, but the other notes vary depending on whether you’ve got the His or the Her version. The His model, not surprisingly, contain fragrances like wood, rosemary, and grass, while the Her model features Hawaiian wedding flower, freesia, and other girly things.

Is the perfume doing well? YES, GREAT, thanks for asking:

We have had quite a bit of positive customer feedback…I’d like to think that people will use it as part of our economic recovery. I got an order from a serviceman in Afghanistan and sent him a bunch of extra bottles. They understand what they’re fighting for and a lot of it is money.

Christ.