What’s More Debasing Than Arguing in Ikea?
by Bonnie
Are you in love and living in Tennessee?
Begin your romantic evening by walking over the pre-landscaping, muddy yard. They’ve laid down some planks, or contractors’ bags, whatever’s around. Lean your heads together and giggle. Pretend this house will be yours. That overturned, lavender, fiberglass hot tub is your own future hot tub, to be installed on your own future weather-resistant deck. Settle down at your candlelit table, but accept that the candles will almost immediately blow out. The wind comes in cold this time of year when you’re dining next to a missing wall. As your wine glasses are filled, you may notice that the neighborhood isn’t really such a hot-tub neighborhood, is it? Also, probably no one is going to show up at your own actual house, ever, and offer to change your life, but now you understand that if they did, they would just change it to…this.