Aliens Messed With the Wrong Fellow

“It was real…Aliens were plugged into me. It was a download situation. This was long before computers or any kind of wireless. There weren’t even wireless telephones. Looking back now, it was like, ‘F**k, they downloaded something into me!’ Or they uploaded something from my brain, like an experiment.” — Rocker Sammy Hagar was abducted by aliens! The thought that the aliens might have accidentally downloaded (or was it uploaded!?) an endless stream of Van Halen songs is giving me great pleasure. “What is this shit?” I picture them saying, as they try in vain to plug their ears only to realize the sound is coming from inside their space brains.