The Best Time I Asked Jared Leto a Question

by Kelly

I had been kind of a Jared Leto fan since I saw Requiem for a Dream, and I say “kind of” because I basically knew who Jared Leto was and noticed when he was in movies, feeling slightly more positive than neutral about him because he was attractive. So, kind of a fan? But not really.

Anyway, my story begins near the elevators of Orlando’s Hard Rock Hotel, where my family and I were staying on vacation. I was in the hallway for privacy, talking on the phone with my then-boyfriend, when I look up and notice someone else in the hallway with me, mere feet away. Just me and this one other person. All alone. In the hallway. Now is where I would put in some suspense. And theeennnnn…It was Jared Leto!

Jared Leto’s band, 30 Seconds to Mars, was playing that night at the Hard Rock Cafe, so I guess it made sense that they would be staying at the Hard Rock Hotel. (And I knew they were playing there because my parents noticed and asked if I wanted to get tickets, which, you know, of course I didn’t, because gross. Mom!) So because of that, combined with the fact that it was clearly Jared Leto, it didn’t take much convincing for me to convince myself that this was Jared Leto.

Though I wasn’t really a fan, as I already explained, I was immediately starstruck. The Jared Leto! From Requiem for a Dream! Standing right in front of me, texting on his Sidekick! Sooo clooossee!!

It was then that I knew I had to say something so maybe we could get married someday, if I could just say the exact right thing. My brain was going a mile a minute. “I like your band.” “Do you know where the elevators are?” “Do you…like…weather…here?” They all seemed like great options, so I stopped listening to my boyfriend, put the phone to my side and said:

“Are you Jared Leto?”

Mmm, not what I had planned exactly, but still fine! Maybe? Unless his name was was pronounced Lee-to instead of Leh-to because I said Leh-to and I actually have no idea which is correct. But, in any case, that’s where it all got real weird. Instead of responding right away, he walked toward me, very slowly, until he was only a few inches from my face. Just not anything a normal person would ever do. He stood there for a moment and then either nodded or said “yeah,” I don’t remember which because I was maybe blacked out. So then after not saying anything for what seemed like maybe 45 minutes, I did the only thing that I could think to do at that moment: Put my phone back to my ear and said,

“JARED LETO IS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.”

Ohhh, no! Kelly!

“Who is Jared Leto?” my boyfriend asked.

Ohhh, noooooooooo!

There are definitely ways I could have dodged this question. Like by hanging up the phone or by not saying anything or by just saying anything other than the thing that I did say. But instead of those things this is the thing that I said:

“You know, from Requiem for a Dream?”

: (

And with that, Jared Leto walked backwards for a few steps before turning around and leaving my life forever, while my boyfriend continued to pretend like he didn’t know who Jared Leto was even though I’m positive that he definitely did know.

Kelly Conaboy writes a lot, but it’s never about anything.