Gno Gnomes for Grandma!

Veronica Pratt, an 82-year-old British grandmother who died recently, was a passionate collector of garden gnomes. She loved them so much that she asked her family to line her tiny statues up on a roundabout that her funeral procession was passing. Her son explains,

“Mum had a long and well-travelled life, during which she collected gnomes and ornaments from all over the country… Mum always commented on how lovely the roundabout was, especially in the spring when the flowers came into bloom — this is why she wanted her collection placed there. She also loved the mountains here so her grandchildren hid some of the smaller gnomes in among the stones.”

How sweet! Too bad this adorable plan was foiled when officials in her town got all crabby and confiscated the collection of gnomes. What the (el)F? Why dash poor Veronica’s dreams? Apparently they were concerned the statues would distract other drivers. That’s imp-possible! Whatelfer, it’s too late gnow. (I’m going to stop before these puns bring ignominy upon me. Help!)