Sephora Is Lying About “VIB”

This has gone on long enough.

“You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (New International Version, John 8:44)

If you spend an incorrect amount of money at Sephora, a popular color store, you’re awarded with membership into Sephora’s “VIB” program. The membership provides you with multiple emails every day, nothing of value, and sometimes more samples than normal, which is fun. Now, you’re probably wondering, “But what does ‘VIB’ stand for?” Good question. I wondered that too, the other day. And then I thought, “Does it stand for ‘Very Important Beauty’?” Huh. And then I thought, “But that does’t make any sense.” True.

I won’t leave you in suspense. This is what it stands for, which is a lie:

Very
Important
Beauty

…Insider????

No.

“VIB” stands for “Very Important Beauty,” which doesn’t make any sense. If you want your thing to stand for “Very Important Beauty Insider,” you gotta make it “VIBI,” which I understand doesn’t allude to VIP but that is your problem, Sephora, not mine.

And that’s that.

You have to admit that I’m right.