Happy National Donut Day

Today, the first Friday in June, is National Donut (Doughnut) Day. Traditionally this is thought to be the day when the ghost of the first donut ever made returns to the earth to haunt the descendants of the person who ate it. And since every year the number of the first donut eater’s descendants increases, it becomes a progressively more dangerous holiday. (2005 marked the first year the donut eater’s descendants made up a majority of the population — the number is currently believed to be about 55%.)

Superstitious National Donut Day observers stay inside from sunrise to sunset, lining the edges of their doors and windows with wax paper intended to trick the ghost donut into believing it’s flown into a donut-store tray and not the house of a donut-eater descendant. The less superstitious treat it as a holiday to be celebrated — gingerly. “Do-not let ghost donut get you,” some parents tell their children, pronouncing the first “do” like “doh,” as in donut. To which the child responds, “Ghost donut likes old flesh, old flesh, and I’ve got young flesh, young flesh,” which he sings while making his hands into circles.

The traditional National Donut Day gift is a small papier-mâché grave inscribed with the phrase “R.I.P. FDE, NRtM” (First Donut Eater, Not Related to Me), which, if superstitions are to believed, causes the ghost donut to pass the grave-holder over on its hunt for people who are related to the first donut eater. (A darker and less well-known tradition involves hiding a papier-mâché grave inscribed with “R.I.P. FDE, DRtM” in the home of one’s enemy, where D stands for definitely.)

You can also get free donuts at Dunkin Donuts and Krispy Kremes across the country.