I Saw @RobDelaney’s Tampon String

“Saddle bags, upper-arm fat, cottage cheese thighs, midriff-bulge (aka F.U.P.A. aka ‘gunt’), flat chest, asymmetrical breasts, butt-beard, bacne, pit-cheese, cankles, surprise tampon string cameos, eczema, ham spatula, ashy elbows, feet of any kind, hairy knuckles, beef knuckles, uncle’s knuckles, vaginal halitosis, bald spots, loaf latch, sideburns, flatbottom, creeping jimson weed, dowager’s hump, treasure trail, Pepperidge Farm, razor bumps, leakage, phantom dangle, and panty dandruff.”
 — Rob Delaney reminds us what to consider in preparation for bikini season.