Brief Talks With Men in Bars: The Instagram Enthusiast

by Karina Briski

The Instagram Enthusiast transmits a curious mix of tech obsession and humble earnestness. He loves both the act and the idea of photography, the framing, the steadying stance, the toyish click programmed into the Instagram camera. Yet the Instagram app also allows his amateur passions to retain their youthful naivete. Not quite a photographer, but not impervious to the beauty of the everyday, the IE can’t sit until every object in his periphery has undergone mock-vintage retouching and been distributed to each of his social networking accounts.

This penchant for things that look old seeps into various sections of the IE’s life: He’s a romantic, and you shouldn’t be surprised when he mentions his frequent trips to Design Sponge or the Shabby Chic bed linen aisle at Target. He’s got an eye for lovely things, and, under the ideally dim lighting of a bar, he wants you to know you’re one of them! Being approached by an IE in this setting — one that’s rife with blurry temptations — can be tricky, but it won’t take long for his enthusiasm to reveal itself. Wearers of red lipstick and cat-eyeliner, take note. This particular brand of compulsive tech user is looking for your ticket to click it.

Instagram Enthusiast: Hi! You looked so peaceful sitting here at the bar, I just had to come over and talk to you. Is that a gin and tonic you’re drinking?

You: Actually, it’s a vodka gimlet. But you were close!

IE: Really? Guess it was the placement of the lime that threw me off — normally a gimlet has the lime mixed in. Maybe the bartender is new or something. Wow, look at his moustache! He’s at least got that going for him …

You: Yeah, it’s a good one. Are you a bartender also? Your observations are pretty specific.

IE: Oh no, no. No, I just appreciate an atmosphere that’s … well-styled, you know? This bar really nails that turn-of-the-century, sort of Wild Wild West look.

You: Yeah, it is nice. Do you do any design work yourself?

IE: No, no, no I don’t. I’d love to get more into photography, though, but don’t really have the time right now. How about you?

[You give a brief explanation of what you do, and the two of you exchange names.]

IE: Your dress is stunning. What’s that stone in your bracelet? Could I take a picture of you?

[You fidget as he raises his iPhone, unsure of a better way to say no than “no.”]

IE: Just your hand, actually, holding your drink. Is that weird? OK, I just took it. Here, I’ll show you. Oh first, look at this picture I took this morning. Isn’t that light amazing against the bedsheets? Who know a bedbug cover could look so gorgeous.

Previously: The Med Student.

Karina Briski lives in Brooklyn and writes for Brokelyn.

Photo via Flickr